The Habits That Got You Here Might Be Holding You Back Now
Breaking Free from the Grip of Old Habits
Old habits—whether helpful or harmful—can cling to us like a second skin. Over time, they become part of our identity. We declare, "This is just who I am!" But what we’re really saying is, "Don’t expect me to change."
That belief is a trap. It confuses character with behavior. Our character is relatively constant. But our habits? They are flexible, adaptable, and transformable. And that transformation is essential for our growth.
The challenge is that some habits were once useful. They helped us get started, build momentum, even succeed. But what helped us then might now be holding us back. We keep doing what’s familiar because it worked once—even if it no longer serves us.
Success, paradoxically, can make us blind. We assume we succeeded because of our habits, when in reality, we may have succeeded despite them.
From Improvisation to Intentionality
In my case, I relied heavily on improvisation and creative spontaneity—great qualities for launching ventures. They helped me found three startups. But as those businesses grew, my old habit started causing friction: too little structure, too much unpredictability. It created chaos and confusion for the people around me.
So, I adapted. I started planning more. Bringing order to the chaos didn’t change who I was—it simply replaced an outdated habit with a more sustainable one. My core values stayed the same, but my way of working evolved to better serve my team and clients.
Letting Go, Moving Forward
Accepting this paradox is the first step to personal leadership. It’s not about rejecting your past—it’s about discerning what still works and what’s now in the way.
That’s where coaching can help. A trusted outside perspective can clarify which habits you want to keep—and which ones you’re ready to change.
- So here’s a reflection for you:
A. Which of your habits have outlived their usefulness? Ask three people that you trust to give you feedback too.
B. What might become possible if you dared to let them go?
“Enlightenment is when a wave realizes it's the ocean.”
— Thich Nhat Hanh
Let’s keep the conversation going.
Which old habit are you ready to release this year?
Share your thoughts—or let’s talk in confidence.
Wishing you clarity and courage on your journey.
Paul Donkers
Paul P.J. Donkers is a global business coach and consultant. He and his partners work with leadership teams to unlock growth and value.
Find out more at www.tencompany.org or www.ikigaicoachinginstitute.com.
For a confidential conversation, reach out via This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
